The Unseen Weight Moms Carry

Being a mom...one of the most rewarding roles AND a role that comes with many layers of responsibility, much of that responsibility going unseen to the outside world. From the moment a child is born, a mother begins a journey of giving, guiding and ensuring everything is running smoothly for the family. Whether she works outside the home or solely manages the household, a mom is often trying to balance a diverse mix of duties and demands. But what does it really mean to carry all this responsibility? And why is it so important to recognize the depth of what moms do, even when they don't ask for recognition?

The Mental Load

The "mental load" of motherhood is one of the most exhausting parts of being a parent. It's the constant mental checklist that never seems to end—planning meals, scheduling doctor appointments, buying birthday gifts, making sure the kids have everything they need for school, and juggling the needs of the household, the family, and often, themselves. Currently, many moms are beginning to shift into holiday mode and planning how to bring the holiday magic into their homes and kids lives. (Anyone else planning what mischief their elf on the shelf will be getting into in December?!) This mental load is uniquely taxing because it doesn’t have a physical end point. Unlike many jobs where tasks are clearly defined and can be "closed out" when they’re completed, a mom’s to-do list is a moving target. When one task is finished, another appears, and it can feel like the work never stops.

Modern technology has made some aspects of life easier. We can now grocery shop with a click of a button, schedule appointments through an app, have constant information about upcoming events/activities etc... Unfortunately, the mental load hasn’t necessarily lightened. If anything, the constant connectivity and the pressure to be "on" at all times can make it harder to disconnect and recharge.

The Emotional Load

Moms are, typically, the emotional caretakers for the family, being that they tend to be natural nurturers. Being an emotional anchor, keeping the peace, offering words of encouragement, listening to hurt feelings and providing words of comfort are some of the ways mom’s carry emotional responsibility for the household. This emotional responsibility can be draining and lead to many moms neglecting their own emotional needs. Being able to provide empathy, patience, understanding and love 24/7 can make it challenging for mom’s to refill their own cups.

Sacrifice and Selflessness

One of the most beautiful—and often challenging—aspects of motherhood is the ability of moms to put their families first. Many moms deprive themselves of sleep, skip their personal hobbies, and sacrifice their own wants and needs to provide the best for their children. Whether it’s staying up late to help with homework, attending school events, or giving up their own social plans to ensure their children feel loved and supported, moms are constantly putting others before themselves.

But this selflessness doesn’t come without a cost. It’s important for moms to remember that their needs matter too. Self-care is essential, but it’s often the first thing to be forgotten amidst the chaos of daily life. Learning to ask for help and recognizing the importance of personal time isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for maintaining emotional and physical well-being.

The Juggling Act: Work and Home

In many households, moms aren’t just caregivers—they're also working professionals. This can mean that they work early mornings, late nights, and/or weekend shifts to be able to have time for both work and family. For working mothers, balancing career goals with the desire to be present for their children can feel overwhelming and heartbreaking. There’s the pressure to excel at work while also ensuring the children are well taken care of. And when you add the hours spent keeping the household running—doing laundry, cooking meals, cleaning- it becomes clear that moms aren’t just multi-tasking, they are constantly in motion.

This juggling act can lead to burnout. It’s important to acknowledge that moms aren’t superhuman. They need support and rest just as much as anyone else.

The Supermom Myth

One of the most difficult aspects of motherhood is the societal expectation that moms should be able to handle it all. There’s the myth of the "supermom" who effortlessly manages everything—work, home, social life, and family—all while looking well-rested and put together. This unrealistic image of motherhood only adds to the burden, because it creates a sense of guilt when moms can’t live up to these ideals.

Moms are human, and they have limits. The pressure to "do it all" without asking for help or admitting that something is too much can lead to burnout, stress, and frustration. It's important for society to redefine the idea of motherhood as something more real and supportive, where moms don’t have to carry the weight alone. It really does take a village!

Acknowledging the Load

Being able to recognize and appreciate all of the effort, sacrifice and love that goes into being a mother is essential and can make such a difference for every mom feeling overwhelmed and doubtful of their ability to show up for their families. Whether it’s through offering help, providing words of encouragement, or simply taking time to acknowledge their hard work, we can all do a little more to lift up the women who carry so much for their families.

So, to all the moms out there: thank you. You are seen, you are appreciated, and your work matters more than words can express.